


Gnomebound

by EaglePursuit



Series: Another Summer's Sunny Days [14]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Dana - Freeform, Dipcifica, Gnomes, Gradual Dipcifica, Matchmaker Mabel Pines, Post-Gravity Falls, Returning to Gravity Falls, Short, Teenage Dipper Pines, Teenage Dipper Pines and Mabel Pines, Teenage Mabel Pines, Teenage Pacifica Northwest, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25314766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EaglePursuit/pseuds/EaglePursuit
Summary: Part 14 of Another Summer's Sunny Days. Dipper is kidnapped by the Gnomes and gains an unexpected ally while Mabel meets with Pacifica to discuss their matchmaking project
Relationships: Pacifica Northwest/Dipper Pines
Series: Another Summer's Sunny Days [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792519
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Gnomebound

**Author's Note:**

> Based on: Disney’s Gravity Falls  
> Created by: Alex Hirsch
> 
> Beta readers: my wife & PK2317  
> Art by: KID | @KIDWMA

Gnomebound 

Dipper stood at the register in the Mystery Shack gift shop as tourists came through at a rate that was just enough to keep him busy, but not quite fast enough to keep him from getting bored. He was filling in for Melody, who was visiting her family in Portland. She was also purchasing a new satellite dish to restore the Shack’s internet service, the old dish having been broken for nearly two months after it was knocked off the roof by an Abominable Bro-Man.

An elderly woman set an armload of souvenirs on the counter. Dipper rang them up for her in a droning stupor, “You’ve got a keychain, a can cozy, a ‘I’m With Mr. Mystery’ t-shirt, a novelty giant eyeball pencil holder, and a pine tree hat. Excellent choice on the hat, I might add. That will be $74.72, no refunds. Thank you for visiting the Mystery Shack.” Dipper and her doddering husband both sighed impatiently as she began to fumble in her purse for her checkbook.

A man wearing a trenchcoat shambled in through the door and began looking through the t-shirt rack. His collar was flipped up and he was wearing a fedora despite the summer heat. The elderly woman had just finished signing her check when the trenchcoat guy threw a t-shirt down on the counter.

Dipper took a long gulp of Pitt Cola, sizing him up from the corner of his eye. “Give it up, Jeff. You’re not fooling anyone.”

The trenchcoat man yelled, “Get him!” and dropped the rather obvious disguise to reveal eleven gnomes stacked on top of each other. They growled at Dipper and pounced.

Dipper already had an electric leafblower in hand under the counter in anticipation. He brought it to bear against the micro-sized attackers, knocking them over with a blast of air. Jeff and his defeated troop scrambled for the exit.

The elderly woman gasped in cheerful surprise. “Look, Harold! They’ve got a dwarf show.”

Jeff stopped at the door and turned to her. “Ma’am, that is a derogatory term! The preferred nomenclature is ‘gnome’!” Dipper brandished the leafblower threateningly and Jeff scampered out, following his brethren.

“Don’t worry.” Dipper rolled his eyes as he slid the leafblower back behind the counter. “This is the third time today they’ve tried that.” 

“Well, I’m just glad we were here to see it. Those little fellows are hilarious,” the husband laughed. He took his wife’s hand and they headed out to their car with their souvenirs.

The next few hours went far too slowly for Dipper’s liking. The flow of customers gradually dwindled and the gnomes didn’t even come back for a fourth kidnapping attempt. Dipper was baffled about why they were suddenly targeting him, but at least they had provided a modicum of excitement.

A family of four left the gift shop and Dipper was suddenly alone for the first time that day. Soos was giving a tour to another group of tourists. Abuelita was watching telenovelas in her room. Mabel was off at the park with Pacifica, planning...something. He wasn’t quite sure what she had said as she sprinted out the door, bottle of Mabel Juice in hand. Stan and Ford were pulling the _Stan o’ War II_ out of the lake so that Ford could upgrade some sensors on the hull.

Dipper stared bleakly out the window and sighed. He dreaded being alone with his own thoughts now as they always managed to circle back to his break-up with Crystal. He couldn’t help it. It was in his nature to analyze, to fixate on the details. It’s why he used to write out elaborate plans, like when he wanted to ask Wendy to dance. It was why he tenaciously solved the mysteries of this town.

Crystal had insisted that he leave with her because Gravity Falls was strange and dangerous to her. He had turned her down. But he wondered constantly, what if he _had_ left? His life would certainly be less exciting. There would be no cryptids, no alien spacecraft, no hauntings. But there was a certain amount of contentment that he had when he was with her. He was torturing himself. “Mabel was right,” he muttered. “I’m always overthinking things.”

The family that had recently left the gift shop walked across the parking lot, holding hands. He watched the parents open the doors of a minivan. They placed the two small children, a toddler and a preschooler both wearing new Mystery Shack children’s hats, in the back seat then opened the trunk to put away their other souvenirs. Dipper watched them for a moment, idly contemplating the couple, then something caught his eye and he turned to see a small child wandering towards the forest. “Shouldn’t it be inside the van?” he wondered. He looked back to the rear of the vehicle. The parents seemed to be oblivious to the straying child as they rearranged their luggage.

Dipper ran out the door of the gift shop and yelled at them, “Look out! Your kid!” He pointed at the child who was already close to the edge of the woods.

The parents shrugged at him in confusion. He took off at a full sprint after the toddler, who was disappearing into the undergrowth. Dipper made the edge of the woods a few paces behind the child, but inexplicably it began to run from him. He wasn’t sure how fast toddlers should be able to run, but he was relatively certain it wasn't this fast. He yelled, “Stop! Stop!” but the child ignored him.

A minute later the child stumbled over a log and Dipper was able to catch up with it and lift it off the ground. He turned it around and found himself face to face with a diaper-clad Jeff in a stolen Mystery Shack children’s hat. “What the heck!?”

The gnomish leader cackled menacingly. “Goo goo ga ga! I finally got ya, Dipper!” The teen was suddenly surrounded by angry gnomes wielding pinecone-tipped spears and dropped Jeff to the forest floor “Tie him up quickly now!” Jeff ordered his crew, “This one is resourceful. Do not underestimate him.” The gnomes bound him tightly with their tiny ropes and hefted him onto their shoulders, then carried him deep into the forest. And no one even knew he was gone.

* * *

“Hey, Jeff. I’m not going to be your queen, man,” Dipper said angrily as he struggled against his bindings. He was tied to the trunk of a sturdy tree in the middle of a gnome encampment. When he arrived he had estimated that there were around forty to fifty gnomes gathered there. Despite the heat of the day, a large fire was burning in a ring of stones nearby and a cadre of gnomes were cooking questionably-sourced cuts of meat over it.

“We have our eyes on a new queen now, and you won’t be able to stand in our way like you did last time,” Jeff taunted him.

Dipper shot back, “Have you ever, like, thought of using a dating site?”

“I tried that,” Jeff said candidly. “But I was banned for violating the terms of service. Apparently attempting to kidnap your date is frowned upon.” 

Carson, Jeff’s right hand gnome, jumped up on a stump next to him. “Once you go gnome, you can never go home!” 

“Whoa, man! That’s messed up.” Dipper recoiled in disgust.

Jeff proudly pulled a photograph out of his beard for Dipper to see. “Here’s our new queen.”

“Wait, is that Pacifica?” Dipper asked in disbelief. “You guys are going after Pacifica?”

Jeff sneered. “You gonna try to stop us, Mr. Tied-to-a-tree?”

“I’ll think of something.” Dipper struggled with renewed effort.

“You do that, buddy,” Jeff laughed. “In the meanwhile, I’ve got a girl to abduct. When I get back we’re going to have a wedding and a funeral; your funeral! Ha ha ha ha!” Jeff whistled and a trio of deer trotted into the village while a platoon of gnomes formed up in ranks. He turned to the gnomes, “Mount up, boys! It’s time to meet our new queen!”

He and twenty other gnomes gathered their pinecone spears and climbed up on the backs of the deer. Jeff gave his mount a kick in the ribs and the deer leaped into the forest and were gone.

Dipper wriggled under the ropes. The best plan he could come up with was to use the metal zipper on his vest to cut through them. 

A couple of gnomes stood guard over him, but the rest of the encampment continued with preparations for the wedding feast. Most were engaged in cooking over the fire, but some were hanging decorations or washing clothes.

He strained and struggled, trying to saw through the ropes with his limited movement until his ribs hurt and he stopped to catch his breath. One of the guard-gnomes prodded him with a spear apathetically.

A female voice raised ominously over the din of activity in the camp, “By the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes!”

Everyone in the encampment stopped what they were doing and looked around in confusion.

Dipper looked up as well and felt the stirring of a slight breeze in his unruly curls. It grew quickly into a strong wind, then a powerful gale ripping through the forest. He blinked his eyes against the grit that blasted his face. The gnomes clung to tentpoles and tree trunks in vain as they were all eventually blown away by the torrent of air. Dipper was momentarily concerned that the large fire was going to spread into the forest, driven by the wind.

As suddenly as the wind started, it died away and Dipper was left in the oddly silent ruins of the encampment, still tied to the tree. Some particle of dirt had blown up his nose and irritated it. He sneezed delicately. He opened his eyes to see a strange figure walking towards him. It was a girl his age wearing a black sack dress, belted at her waist, a simple black domino mask, and an iconic, pointy witch’s hat. Her hair was a garish and unnatural shade of bright red in a wildly feathered bob cut. She had a black satchel slung over her shoulders, laying against her hip. She sauntered towards him in knee-high black boots, stepping over detritus from broken tents.

“Wow, the rumors are true! You really do sneeze like a kitten,” she said, amused.

Dipper blinked the grit out of his eyes. “Who are you?” 

The redhead casually walked over to the fire. She reached one hand into her satchel, felt around, then extracted a handful of powder, which she flung into the fire, instantly extinguishing it. “Oh, right…” She changed her voice to a more dramatic pitch. “Allow me to introduce myself.” —the line sounded like she might have rehearsed it— “I am...Hecate!”

Dipper squinted. “I think I’ve met you before. You’re sort of familiar.”

“No! We’ve definitely never met,” she said hastily.

“Yes, I think we have,” he insisted. He scrutinized her face, recognizing her distinctive chin. “You’re that girl…Dana. Pacifica introduced you to Mabel and I at the Summerween party. You’re wearing the same costume, just with a wig!”

“Argh,” she growled in frustration. “I’m so stupid! I should have known better than to reuse my Summerween costume.” She reached into her satchel again and when she pulled out her hand, her fingers were slick with a greenish gel substance. She ran them through her bright red hair and whispered something Dipper could tell wasn’t English. Suddenly the red hair vanished in a haze that was difficult to comprehend and was replaced by the simple brown ponytail he remembered from the party.

“If you don’t mind, could you untie me? Dipper asked. “I’d really like to itch my nose.”

“Oh, right. Sorry. It’s just...I’m kind of excited to run into you again! And to be able to actually help you.” She applied some more substances from her satchel to her hand, placed it against the ropes, and incanted another strange phrase that made his ears tickle. 

Dipper was free of the bindings and quickly scratched his nose. He looked down. The ropes had simply unraveled back into the strips of bark and grass that the gnomes had made them from. He regarded his rescuer cautiously. “So uh, you’re a real witch then? It’s not just a costume.”

“Ha! Actually, it is just a costume. I got it at the Summerween Superstore, but I am a real witch. I normally wear the same kinds of clothes as everybody else,” she explained giddily.

“Oh no!” Dipper slapped his forehead, “I almost forgot. They’re going to kidnap Pacifica! I need to warn her.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. No signal. “Okay, Dana, thanks for the rescue. I don’t know what your deal is, but I need to get to town and warn her.” He turned to go.

“Wait, I want to help! But I can’t let anyone else recognize me.” Dana rubbed her chin in deliberation. “Although I can help get you there faster.”

“You don’t happen to have a flying broomstick handy?” Dipper guessed.

“No, that’s not really a thing. But I can cast a spell that makes you run fast. I’ll go with you as far as town,” She offered.

“Works for me,” Dipper agreed. “I have some questions I’d like to ask on the way.”

Dana pulled another handful of a different powder from her satchel and sprinkled some on both of them, incanting in her strange magical language as she did. They were wrapped in transparent-pink bubbles. Dipper immediately felt lighter and faster, as if the constants of time and gravity were relaxed.

“Let’s go,” Dana said. She began to run and he followed. The trees of the forest flew by them at terrifying velocity. Dipper briefly calculated the damage to a human body resulting from a head-on collision with one. It wasn’t pretty. “Where is she?” Dana asked.

“Mabel told me this morning that they were going to the park,” he told her. “So what’s your deal, Dana? What were you doing in the forest?”

“Let me start at the beginning.” Dana explained as they ran, “I’m a witch in the Gravity Falls Coven. Last year, during N.M.A.T., our Elders made us hide in caves in the forest, despite our magic power. I thought you guys must be, like, really powerful to take on a chaos demon while we hid! Then, when I met you guys last month, I realized that you and your family are just regular people. You’re not heroes because you have magic or anything. Your family took down one of the most powerful beings in the universe by being brave and smart, and it made me realize that the Elders of the Coven are cowards! We should have been there fighting beside you, not hiding. So I decided to become a hero too, in spite of the Elders who make us stay in hiding all the time. And unlike you, I live here. I can help protect Gravity Falls throughout the year.

“So, I’ve been training myself. I was in the forest practicing combat magic when I saw the gnomes carrying you to their camp. I decided that was my chance to try it out for real and here I am. I’m guessing you’ve never met a real witch before, huh?”

Dipper thought for a moment. “I did meet another one once. She’s old and creepy though, and lived in a cave on a mountain stealing people’s hands.”

“Ha, yes,” Dana laughed. “That’s Edith. She’s been banished from the Coven for her excessive ‘fascination’ with hands.”

“So how many members does your coven have?” Dipper asked as he barely missed a tree. “Do I know anyone else?”

“I’d rather not say,” Dana replied evasively. “They kind of...don’t know I’m doing this, and they definitely wouldn’t like it if they did. So I don’t want to drag them out into the open.”

“And that’s the reason for the costume?”

“Right. But I think I’m going to have to find a better one.”

They left the confines of the forest so fast that Dipper’s eyes watered from the sudden brightness. The openness allowed them to reach even greater speeds. He wondered what people would think if they saw them moving so fast in pink bubbles. 

Dipper was able to run up next to her since they were no longer dodging trees. Seeing her recite incantations reminded him of a magic spell he cast once. “I want to show you something.” He pulled out Journal 3 and flipped to the page with the zombie incantation. “I was able to summon zombies with this. Is this your kind of magic?” He showed her the page.

She nearly nearly choked on her breath when she saw it. “ _You_ cast that!? Non-witches shouldn’t be able to perform incantations. How did you do that? Where did you get it?”

“My great uncle wrote this journal,” he replied. “I don’t know where he got the spell though.”

“That’s very strange,” Dana muttered darkly as she led him to the edge of town closest to Circle Park and stopped. 

Dipper pulled his phone from his pocket and selected the text messenger. He scrolled through the contact list until he saw the picture of Pacifica in her Summerween costume. He smiled sardonically. Mabel was finally about to get what she asked for. He was sending Pacifica a text.

Dipper: 

Where are you?

The gnomes are coming for you. You’re in danger!

Pacifica: 

We’re at the park, on the playground

Dipper: 

I’ll be there as soon as I can

Dana picked up a stick from the ground. It was about a foot long, as thick as her finger, and made of pine. “I can’t go with you. Pacifica would probably recognize me, because we’re in a bunch of the same classes. But I’ll make you something to help you deal with the gnomes.”

She took some white stones etched with symbols from her satchel and arranged them in a circle on the ground. The symbols were vaguely familiar to him, but he couldn’t quite place them. Then she took out a vial of ointment and rubbed some on the stick while speaking a spell that made the air shiver. She waved the stick over the circle of stones and a tiny cyclone formed there which was absorbed into the stick.

She handed it to him with a smile. “Here you go; one wind wand. It’s good for a single use, so don’t blow it... until you need it.” She paused. “Oh. There’s something else. Hand me your book.”

Dipper handed her the journal and she laid it on the ground, open to a blank page in the back. She pulled a black book out of her satchel and laid it open next to the journal. “This is my grimoire,” she explained. “It’s a book of spells.” She placed a hand on both books and said a quick chant. 

She handed the journal back to him. “If you write on that page, I will see it on mine and vice versa. You can write to me for help. When the page fills up, it will magically erase the oldest writing. It works everywhere, unlike stupid phones.”

“Ha! It’s literally texting.” He eyed the grimoire with curiosity. “Can I look at your book sometime?”

“Uh, no. Sorry. That’s probably not a good idea. And if you could not tell anyone who I am, I would appreciate it.” She shrugged apologetically.

“Right, no problem,” Dipper agreed. “Anyway, I need to get going.”

“There is one last thing.” —Dana cringed sympathetically— “I’m going to have to remove the speed spell before you leave. You will get cursed if it's allowed to expire on its own, and that’s no fun.”

“Ugh,” Dipper groaned, thinking of how far it still was to the park.

* * *

“I wish there was a more private place we could discuss this,” Pacifica whispered, eyeing park-goers around them. She sat on a swing next to Mabel at the Circle Park playground. A gaggle of mothers gossiped at a nearby picnic table while their kids played.

Unlike her friend, Mabel was swinging enthusiastically, pumping her legs to go higher. “We couldn’t meet at the Mystery Shack for obvious reasons, and your parents are home, so we can’t go there. We can’t go to the Ice Cream Palace because Wendy is there. And I am not spending another sunny day whispering in the library.”

“Well, at least this will all be over soon.” Pacifica sighed.

“Are you nervous?” Mabel asked as she swung by. “I know I’ve been pushing you kind of hard. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

“No, I need to do this,” Pacifica pounded her fist into the palm of her hand with determination. “I’ll be more miserable if I don’t show him how I feel; like, the sooner the better.” Her phone chimed and she pulled it out of her pocket. “It’s him!”

“See!” Mabel grinned. “He’s coming around.” She giggled. “I’ve been making subtle hints.”

“He says gnomes are coming to get me!”

“Hmm. Now that’s a little less romantic than I had envisioned…”

Pacifica texted him back. Just as she sent her message she heard panicky screaming behind her and turned to look. Three deer loaded with spear-wielding gnomes were charging down the walking path towards them. “They’re here!” she yelled.

The mothers and their children fled the playground as the woodsy cavalry bore down on them. Pacifica stood and turned to face the charging gnomes as Mabel leaped out of her swing at its apogee of its arc. Pacifica pulled her own swing back and launched it at the first deer as it approached, snaring it in its ropes as the deer’s riders were thrown to the ground.

“Get to the jungle gym!” Mabel yelled to her.

The girls raced across the playground as the other two deer swerved around the first, still flailing in the swingset. Pacifica’s stylish sheepskin boot came off on the uneven ground, and she fell. “Ugh. I should really accessorize for adventure when I’m hanging out with you.”

Mabel turned back and grabbed her hand. “We’re almost there!” She hauled Pacifica to her feet and dragged her a few more paces before they were cut off by Jeff and a handful of gnomes on a deer.

Jeff leapt off the back of the deer. “My queen!”

“I’m not your queen, Jeff,” Mabel responded angrily. “Remember the leafblower?”

“Not you,” Jeff spat. “Her!” He pointed at Pacifica with his spear. “And this time you don’t have a leafblower.”

“This queen is reserved for someone else,” Mabel snapped as she pulled her grappling hook from her sweater and fired it over the gnomes into the top of the jungle gym. She flipped the catch and pulled herself and Pacifica to safety.

The gnomes quickly encircled the jungle gym to prevent their escape, jabbing upward with their spears.

Mabel relaunched the grappling hook at the clock tower, but it fell short. She reeled it in until it was about a yard long, then began swinging it as a flail, knocking away gnomes as they climbed up the bars. “We need to buy some time.”

“Look, it’s Dipper!” Pacifica shouted, stomping on a tiny gnome hand.

A short, sweaty figure appeared at the edge of the park, running toward the playground. “Mabel. Pacifica. Are you alright!?” Dipper asked as he bent over to catch his breath at the periphery of the playground.

“We’re a little up in the air, bro-bro,” Mabel yelled back. “We could use a leafblower or a dog whistle.”

“Sorry, all I brought was this stick,” Dipper held up the wand as he ran closer. Some of the gnomes broke off from the jungle gym to drive him away. “Hold on tight!”

He pointed it at the nearest gnome and realized Dana hadn’t told him how to use it. “Uh, abracadabra?” he guessed. “Blow! Wind! Open sesame!” Nothing happened.

“Gnomes don’t play fetch!” Jeff sneered from the middle of the jungle gym.

Dipper had a sudden epiphany. “Don’t blow it!” he echoed Dana’s instructions. He put the end of the stick in his mouth and blew it like his sousaphone. 

A powerful gale erupted from the other end of the stick, and he directed it at the gnomes clinging to the jungle gym below the girls. One by one, they lost their grip and sailed over the trees. It wasn’t just a bad pun after all. Dipper stopped blowing and the wind dwindled to nothing. He tried blowing it again, experimentally, but it didn’t work. It was just a plain stick, crusted with dried-on remnants of whatever Dana had smeared on it.

Mabel and Pacifica climbed down from the jungle gym. “What the heck took you so long?” Pacifica griped as she stomped her foot back into her boot.

“Oh the usual. I chased a baby into the woods, got tied up by gnomes, and was rescued by a witch with crazy, red hair,” Dipper replied casually as he wiped sweat from his face with the collar of his shirt.

“Been there, bro-bro,” Mabel joked. “Wait. Did you say a witch?”

“Yup, it’s been that kind of day. I’m just going to sit down now.” He crumpled to the grass to catch his breath and looked up at the girls. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

Be sure to read the next adventure: 

Bait and Switch


End file.
